Mom expects 5-year-old daughter to sleep from 3 PM until morning without dinner, gets angry when aunt gives her an apple at 7 PM: 'Who's the parent?'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Oct 19, 2025 8:00 AM EDT

Naps are one of those things that you can't force a kid to do indefinitely. There are times when it is developmentally appropriate to sleep for most of the day and times when napping for a couple of hours is suitable, but 5-year-olds are definitely not in that age group. Some people nap for an hour a day for their entire lives, and don't have any problem with that. My mom went through a napping phase in college, and she says it was incredibly detrimental to her health, happiness, and productivity. 

The most important thing about napping is to find the perfect amount of time. You can't really do much with a 10-minute nap, nor should you nap for four hours and expect to feel refreshed afterward. The sweet spot is 30 minutes when you're in a pinch, to 2 hours when you've got time to spare and energy to gain. Anything more than that is going to derail your day, and you might as well stick it out for a couple of hours and go to bed early instead. 

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  • Grayscale photo of a girl holding an apple
    via Artyom Kabajev

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Some parents expect their kids to nap way more than what is developmentally appropriate for their age. A 5-year-old probably doesn't need to nap at all, especially if they're in kindergarten, but this mom does not agree. Not only does she want her to go down for a nap at 3 PM, but she wants her to continue to sleep until morning. The mom got upset when she woke up 4 hours into her nap and wanted food, and she was angry with her sister for giving her food.

  • Am I wrong for feeding my niece an apple before bed?

    For context my niece (5) took a nap after her and my sister (36) got home from school/work, for over 4 hours. It was nearing 7pm when I headed downstairs to the kitchen to get some dinner and
    via u/KroganScientist
  • around that time my niece began to wake up. My sister got frustrated at me for "waking her up" since she wanted her to sleep the whole night through, even though she woke up by herself.
    via u/KroganScientist
  • Fast forward 2-3 hrs it was bed time, but my sister hadn't fed my niece anything since she woke up, the only thing my niece had was a Capri sun she had gotten from the pantry herself. At that time, I was in the kitchen prepping apples to make for an apple cake, when my niece came up to me in the kitchen while her mom was on her phone trying to fix something. My niece sees all the
    via u/KroganScientist
  • apples I had lined up on the counter and asked if she could have one because she was hungry and hadn't eaten, so of course I say yes and asked her if she wanted me to cut it up for her and she nods. I wash and cut the apple and put it in a bowl for her to snack on then we sit on the couch and snack on the apple together. That's when my sister tells her, "hurry up come on you have to get to bed now."
    via u/KroganScientist
  • So I respond saying, "She's still eating and only has 3 apple slices left, she hasn't eaten all night." This made my sister mad though and she starts saying how I'm disrespecting her boundaries, even though we've never had a boundary talk and boundaries have never been placed by her because she'd rather scroll her problems away than have a real convo.
    via u/KroganScientist
  • I ask her how letting her daughter eat food is disrespecting her boundaries, then before I could finish my question she raises her voice and says, "Who's the parent?" in the rudest tone of voice. It throws me off guard because I just wanted my niece to have a snack so she's not hungry
    via u/KroganScientist
  • before bed, but now my sister is throwing around her parental insecurities and placing me as the one to blame for them. As if it was my fault she scrolled the whole night instead of feeding her child.
    via u/KroganScientist
  • A woman sitting in a chair holding a cell phone
    via Gabrielle Henderson

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • So I got a little angry and responded with IDK. Because why is this even a question being. brought up at all? Then I think what really got to her is that my niece pointed at me instead of her to her question, to where I promptly told my niece to not point at anyone right now. Ngl I was shocked my niece pointed at all.
    via u/KroganScientist
  • Instead of talking out her feelings she begins to scroll again, then begins huffing and puffing at seemingly nothing and grabs her charger and tells my niece to come upstairs with her apples. I stared at her as she left and she said boo btch with a disgusted face. And I caved into my anger again asking her why she's so mad that I gave her child apples because she was hungry. Then
    via u/KroganScientist
  • she points to the TV saying you're trying to get her to watch TV and stay up with you. When the TV was on the whole time before my niece even got the apples, so like what even is that argument ?? So was I in the wrong for feeding my niece apples before bed?
    via u/KroganScientist
  • A woman in an apron holding a wooden spatula in a kitchen
    via Blake Cheek (Unsplash+)
  • Dittoheadforever You're NTA and your sister sounds completely unhinged. I'm disrespecting her boundaries TF is that supposed to mean? She put her 5 year old kid down for a nap at 3 pm and expected her to sleep until... what, 7 am the next day?
    via u/Dittoheadforever
  • She thought her child didn't need to eat supper? Is this her first day as a parent? She was an asshole to you but was being a totally shit parent to her child. I hope this isn't the norm, because social services may need to intervene if it is the norm.
    via u/Dittoheadforever
  • boxesofboxes "boundaries" has been completely destroyed as a concept and is now straight up just a buzzword. This woman decided she was done parenting for the day and got upset that HER CHILD didn't quietly pretend to not exist for the rest of the night. She was grasping at straws to make it your fault and frankly it is concerning that she tried to bully you into being complicit in her abuse. Op, write this down. Talk to your niece, talk to anyone else who helps your sister, is this neglect a pa
    via u/boxesofboxes
  • KroganScientist OP This is not the norm. She gets fed. But what is the norm is my sister being short sided with me over just about anything.
    via u/KroganScientist
  • No-Assignment5538 Even if it isn't the norm it is not acceptable in any way. If your sister won't listen to you on this get child protective services, what ever that is locally for you, involved. It sounds like she needs to be yanked up short and if she won't listen to family a CPS investigation will buck up her ideals. You need to not minimize this or defend your sister. What she did was indefensible.
    via u/No-Assignment5538
  • IceRose81 NTA - I'm a parent. Granted my kids are a bit older now but I see two issues here: 1. the fact that your sister expected her 5 yr old to "sleep the whole night through" after going down for a nap at 3pm. Even when my children were babies, they NEVER slept from 3pm until 6/7am the next morning. That's 15-16hrs of sleep. I don't even understand why your niece was allowed to sleep as long as she did. Unless they were sick, I never allowed my children to take a 4hr nap in the afternoon bec
    via u/IceRose81
  • 2. Why wasn't your niece fed an actual dinner once she woke up? Even with her waking up at 7pm from her nap, there should have been a meal ready for her to eat so that she didn't go to bed hungry. Does your sister often refuse to feed her daughter proper meals? Why was the bedtime routine more important than making sure that her daughter was properly fed? If anything, you should've fed your niece MORE than just an apple. This isn't an issue of "disrespecting" her "boundaries" as a parent, it's a
    via u/IceRose81
  • allyearswift If niece is hungry and not allowed to eat, sleeping might be her escape. For a while. The idea that sister would just leave the kid without dinner, expecting her to sleep instead... my heart breaks for the kid. This needs an intervention.
    via u/allyearswift

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snack bad parenting bad parents parenting napping naps aunt dinner snacks sleep apples daughter apple mom sleeping Parenting Fail Parenting FAILS
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